Going round in circles

Have you ever reached a point in life where you feel like you’re going round in circles. That’s how I feel right now except I have a time deadline.

I am trying to decide whether to go into a research career or Medicine and have to decide by September (as this is when the applications start for lab placements which are part of my course). Do I cut my course down to 3 years (it’s 4) and apply for graduate medicine or apply for a transfer (which is very unlikely). However if everything goes wrong and I don’t get onto a graduate course I have no lab experience….

And then my old doubts about medicine pop up in regards to the lifestyle it leads to and am I good enough etc,..

Having this swimming around my head whilst trying to write my final summative essay of the year is hard and my brain is frazzled.

Anyone got advice?

I’m comforted by the fact that most people don’t know what to do in regards to careers so i’m not alone I guess//

A month of hard work

As someone who doesn’t like to leave things to the last minute i’m panicking slightly right now as I have exams at the end of April..only  a month away. I have been steadily revising but now it’s the final stretch and i’m so not ready but here goes.

I’ve tried to schedule some posts etc. but i’ll be super busy so if you don’t see anything that’s why

Time flies…

It’s been a while…

Time really does fly, i’ve been at uni everyday for quite long hours and have been hanging out with friends meaning my free time is limited, as well as trying to make youtube videos (more on that later). But this has made me value my time a little more and what I do with it, even though my exams are looming i’m trying to make sure i don’t panic and spend hours reading but rather balancing my time..

how’s your work/life balance going?

No longer being ‘the smart one’

I don’t know if you’ve experienced this but as someone who naturally tries to excel academically I found over the years i’d become ‘the smart one’ in high school who always had work done, who would help if you needed it. And I always felt slightly defined and restricted by it, if I did badly on an exam everyone found out and my teacher would give me a look of pure disappointment (that helped my anxiety loads). But since starting university I am definitely not the smartest there and although at first it made me feel slightly dumb now I revel in it, it no longer defines me, I still work hard and hope to achieve me but people can get to know me not my grades.

What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?

Continuing on the theme of reflection…

3 years ago I was 16 and looking forward to finishing my GCSE’s and a nice summer ahead. If I could go back there’s so much I would change, isn’t that always the way. The people who were there for me aged 16 are nowhere to be seen now and i’d love to have warned myself but to be honest I don’t regret all the time I spent with them. I’d tell myself to treasure the memories and don’t be mad at them or yourself about what happens, life happens and in the end you’re better for it. Just don’t let how people act define your life. I’d tell myself you will quit this job and it won’t be the end of the world you’ll find one you love just as much although yes you will miss all the people you worked with and they will forget about you, it’s natural. Mostly i’d say stop putting up with people and things that make you unhappy: at age 16 my mental health was already rocky and it’s a long way ahead before you even start to feel stable in yourself but that’s okay you don’t have to have it all sorted out so young. Also don’t let others tell you that everyone gets upset you’re fine-you have anxiety and bouts of depression and that’s okay it doesn’t define you. Mostly just keep going even when life seems tough, it does get better…even if it doesn’t seem it yet (still learning this currently).

What would you tell your younger self? Feel free to let me know in the comments

 

It’s a fine line

The line between overworking and underworking especially with an ever growing workload… As someone who often tries to get a balance it is proving difficult to balance life and uni work as I fight my brain trying to tell me I’m constantly underworking. Granted I’m the queen of procrastination but sometimes working on down time is needed.. Just a note 

To anyone studying good luck I wish you all the best